Eliz – Scared I’ll Never Be Enough

Empat belas tahun. Di usia ketika sebagian dari kita masih sibuk menyembunyikan rapor dari orang tua, Eliz sudah menulis lagu tentang suara di kepala yang terus berbisik bahwa dirinya tidak pernah cukup.

Scared I’ll Never Be Enough adalah trek kedelapan dari album Cabin 232, dan ia dibuka dengan petikan gitar akustik yang rapuh, temaram seperti lampu kamar yang lupa dimatikan jam dua pagi. Drumnya berdenyut tanpa terburu-buru, gitar menjaga ritme dengan setia, dan aransemennya tumbuh jadi sesuatu yang lebih sinematik tanpa pernah terasa penuh sesak. Vokalnya dekat sekali, napasnya ikut terdengar, seolah ia bernyanyi dari kasur sebelah. Racikan yang sederhana dan tahu diri.

“And the worst part is I think I kinda trust it,” nyanyinya. Bulu kuduk bergetar tipis-tipis di baris itu.

Ada kelelahan yang tidak dibuat-buat di bagian bridge, ketika kata lelah diulang berkali-kali sampai kita ikut merasakan capeknya. Penyampaiannya jujur-tanpa-drama, tidak meratap, tidak minta dikasihani.

Saya tidak tahu harus kagum atau khawatir.

Apakah Scared I’ll Never Be Enough akan terdengar berbeda saat Eliz berumur dua puluh nanti?

Lirik Lagu Eliz – Scared I’ll Never Be Enough

There's a house up on the hillside
Windows glowing, but they don't feel like mine
Every word I speak gets twisted
Like I'm running out of ways to try
There's a shadow in the doorway
Looks at me like I'm a stranger now
I keep shrinking in the silence
Like I'm something they could live without

And I swear I'm trying harder every day
But the weight just never shifts, it only stays
Every step feels like I'm 'bout to break
Before I even move

I'm so tired of the pressure in my chest
Like a storm I couldn't outrun if I left
Every road just leads me back to where I started
And I'm scared I'll never be enough
There's a voice that echoes louder when I fall
Says I'm smaller than I ever was at all
And the worst part is I think I kinda trust it
Yeah, I'm scared I'll never be enough

There's a mirror in the hallway
But I don't recognize the face I see
Every flaw's a little louder
Like it's shouting what they think of me
I keep walking on a wire
Every step feels like a test I'll fail
And the ground is getting closer
Every time I lose myself again

And I swear I'm trying harder every day
But the weight just never shifts, it only stays
Every step feels like I'm 'bout to break
Before I even move

I'm so tired of the pressure in my chest
Like a storm I couldn't outrun if I left
Every road just leads me back to where I started
And I'm scared I'll never be enough
There's a voice that echoes louder when I fall
Says I'm smaller than I ever was at all
And the worst part is I think I kinda trust it
Yeah, I'm scared I'll never be enough

I'm trying to get out of this
Get out of this
Gotta get out of this
Hiding a burden I can't lift
Get out of this
Gotta get out of this

I'm trying to get out of this
Get out of this
Gotta get out of this
Hiding a burden I can't lift
I'm so tired, tired
I'm so tired
I'm so tired, tired
I'm so tired

I'm so tired of the pressure in my chest
Like a storm I couldn't outrun if I left
Every road just leads me back to where I started
And I'm scared I'll never be enough
There's a voice that echoes louder when I fall
Says I'm smaller than I ever was at all
And the worst part is I think I kinda trust it
Yeah, I'm scared I'll never be enough

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Keteduhan nada akustik dengan storytelling yang hangat dan bersahaja juga hadir di ulasan Jon Jon x Jared Martin – I See You serta rekaman lawas di ulasan Isabella Han-Bolelli – Flirting With Fire.